The Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man - joint

Joint Rating:

Functionality: 6.5

Appearance: 7

Style:9

Overall: 7.5

The Zig Zag joint

Two start you need a two paper set-up created with the glue of a third paper. You first connect the two papers at the top, and then fold the third in half, lick it both sides and slip it in between the papers briefly. Remove it and discard it, leaving just its glue connecting the others together. Now Roll like you would a normal straight joint. Just a really long one. Then you cut it at 45 degree angles and connect it back up with zig zag glue strips from other papers.

Rolling Theory 102 - marijuana rolling is art

"Art is the process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to the senses or emotions."
-Wikipedia

Think of your joints as pieces of art.

Cross joint

For all those who want to know "how do you make a cross joint like in Pineapple Express?" here is a very similar joint. You will need: A bunch of rolling papers, a fair bit of weed, and filter paper. In this case I am using the paper from the rolling paper box for the filter.

 

 You need two roll two "candy" joints.

   

Also one regular sized straight joint. This will be the main body of the joint.

 

 Cut off a few of the glue strips from other rolling papers. 

 

 Cut the two "candy" joints ONLY half way though.

 Attach glue strips as shown.

 

Make sure you wrap up any gaps where air could flow through. Pull through the joint to see if there are holes where air can flow through.

 

 

Light it up!

  

It burned great at first.

 

But one of the arms on the cross burnt more quickly than the others.

 

  

Oh no! part of the cross fell into the snow and I lost some weed!

  

Wasting weed sucks but sometimes it must be done in pursuit of science, knowledge, and truth! ...What was left of the joint burned nicely.

 

 Joint Rating:

Functionality 7/10

Appearance 7.5/10

Style 8/10

Overall rating: 7.5

Not perfect yet but we are on the way.

How to roll the basic straight spliff

What you need: A rolling paper, a strip cut off a business card, and weed. Zigzags are the "traditional" rolling paper, mostly because they are easy to roll with and burn pretty well. There are many other options out there, from unbleached, to colored and flavored. I find that the more features your papers have (clear, flavored, etc.) the less practical they are and more difficult to roll with.

At the time of rolling I was low on marijuana so I only used half of what I had and took some tobacco from a cigarette to mix it with. Although I personally don't enjoy this as much there are a number of advantages: Saves on weed. Herb is expensive, tobacco is cheap. Smoking in public. If you put significantly more tobacco than weed (say 1/4 weed 3/4 tobacco) then hopefully the marijuana scent will be masked. 

Also if you have really sticky weed (which is a good indicator it is also really good), then adding tobacco will make it much easier to roll. If you try to roll sticky weed without tobacco it may be too tight and no smoke/air will pull through it.

 

Mix it up!

Alright now you need to put the mix into the paper. The way you do this determines the shape of a joint. For this straight spliff you want it evenly distributed with a small gap on the left for the filter or "roach".

Next you roll up the strip of business card into a filter. The "filter" doesn't really filter the smoke, however it does keep chunks of weed/tobacco from getting in your mouth. Also it keeps people from "juicing" the joint. This is when they put it in their mouth too far and the end of the joint gets all damp and limp. Very few people in the world like damp, limp joints. Put the rolled up filter into the gap on the left where you didn't put the weed.

Alright now you actually have to roll it. Pick up the paper by sliding it to the edge of the table.

 

To begin rolling you need to place the weed filled portion of the paper on the crack between your middle and ring finger, and then put your thumb on top.

Do the same thing with your other hand so that you are holding it something like this:

Basically you are kneading the weed through the paper into a cylinder. You do this by "rolling" your thumbs up and down. This is difficult and the only way to get the knack of it is through practice. Once you feel like you have shaped it nicely, roll it downwards until paper is like this:

Tuck the  paper in around the weed and literally roll it up towards the glue.

 

Now you lick the paper, being careful not to "over lick" it (see last post, unfortunately my example is not very good cause I licked the shit out of it).

Roll it up completely and seal it up.

At this point the joint is pretty much done. The filter should be stuck in tight on the one side and the other side open. Take a pointy object like a pen, pen cap, or stick, and poke all the weed down into the open end. If theres lots of room then sprinkle more weed in and poke it down.

 

Before you twist off the end of the joint you should perform the "pull test". This will ensure that it has sufficient airflow through it, and that you have no holes in the paper/it sealed well. To do this put the filter end of the joint to your lips and take a toke. Air should flow through sufficiently but not too easily or it will burn super quickly. Pack it down more if it flows through too easily. Now twist off the end and pull again. This time no air should come through. If it does find the hole in the paper and seal it. I personally like my joints to have the stereotypical "twist". If you like this as well then give your joint a twist and you are done!

 

Admittedly this is not the "perfect" joint. It was rolled incredibly late at night and under the influence of too much beer. However it is a really good example of a perfectly practical joint. It looks decent, works well and gets the job done. The final step is lighting it. I couldn't find one at the time of writing so I had to use the stove top. Another possibility if you have no lighter is using a magnifying glass like this guy. If you are lighting the joint with a lighter put the twisted end into the flame and roll it as it catches fire so that it lights evenly. then once the twisted bit is burn off smoke and enjoy!

   

Joint Rating:

Functionality 10/10

Appearance 8/10

Style 7/10

Overall rating:8.3